{"id":3733,"date":"2018-05-31T23:19:28","date_gmt":"2018-05-31T23:19:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.imperial.ac.uk\/student-blogs\/?p=3733"},"modified":"2018-05-31T23:31:21","modified_gmt":"2018-05-31T23:31:21","slug":"confessions-of-a-medical-student-dropping-out-and-other-thoughts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.imperial.ac.uk\/student-blogs\/2018\/05\/31\/confessions-of-a-medical-student-dropping-out-and-other-thoughts\/","title":{"rendered":"Confessions of a Medical Student: Dropping Out and Other Thoughts"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2>As the academic year comes to an end, I thought I&#8217;d reflect on my first year at university.<\/h2>\n<p>Here&#8217;s the thing- we all have a tendency to sugarcoat. We share all the good, but seldom the &#8216;bad&#8217; times. Sure, there&#8217;s the occasional (<em>or frequent<\/em>) posts about workload and stress; but how many of us actually openly share our experiences when the goings get\u00a0<em>really<\/em> tough?\u00a0Following my last blogpost, I&#8217;d really like to keep the honesty streak going.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/media.giphy.com\/media\/KRMV7ZqzfYcO4\/giphy.gif\" \/><\/p>\n<p>First term was a bit of a nightmare for me- it was almost a process of trying to rediscover myself in a sense. Maybe it had something to do with coming to terms with the fact that I no longer had to be the same person that everyone knew me as back home. This blanket of expectation had been lifted; it was a breath of fresh air, yet I was struggling to take it in.\u00a0I had a tight grip on the past and I didn&#8217;t really know how to let go.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/media.giphy.com\/media\/bDTtPo3HyEluE\/giphy.gif\" \/><\/p>\n<p>I started off Fresher&#8217;s Week (<em>fortnight, actually)<\/em>\u00a0just fine but quickly began finding all of it both overwhelming and underwhelming. Underwhelming because honestly, the whole Fresher&#8217;s Week thing kind of felt overrated and way too hyped up; but overwhelming because there was so much going on- so many new names and faces. It came to a point where I honestly had close to no interest in socialising with people in general. And this scared me. All my life, I had been tagged as the\u00a0<em>social butterfly <\/em>of the bunch.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/media.giphy.com\/media\/Dqyziru9dtHaw\/giphy.gif\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Everything seemed to keep getting worse. I felt like Alice- falling down what seemed like this unending rabbit hole of gloom. Next thing I knew- I was practically not going in for anything because the only thing I wanted to do was curl up in bed, watch Netflix and video call my boyfriend. (Long distance sucks- even though he&#8217;s only at Southampton for uni. <strong><em>HI JOHN, MISS YOU! Medicine at Imperial &gt; Medicine at Southampton. Fight me.<\/em><\/strong>)<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/media.giphy.com\/media\/kNGHx5m4QPra0\/giphy.gif\" \/><\/p>\n<p>It reached a point where I was becoming overly demotivated and began losing interest in the one thing I had worked so hard for- Medicine. I&#8217;m struggling to put how it felt into words but it was almost like being stuck in time as everything and everyone else carried on past you. I spent days on end questioning whether I belonged at Imperial and whether I belonged at medical school. I was petrified that I was &#8216;burning out&#8217; already and that maybe the best option for me was to drop out before I proved to be even more of a disappointment. Like nobody mentioned\u00a0<em>frequent breakdowns and existential crises<\/em> as part of the uni life description, am I right? Or maybe I just missed the memo- huh.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/media.giphy.com\/media\/ISOckXUybVfQ4\/giphy.gif\" \/><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif\">As I desperately need to get back to cramming for exams, I will unfortunately have to put off elaborating on my journey to the &#8216;light side&#8217; for the time being.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>As a quick overview- I have since pulled myself together with the help of my boyfriend; some counselling at Imperial; seeing a GP and being put on medication; and most importantly, finding my best friends here. <em>Shoutout to Anush, Trish, and Prak- who have so graciously put up with my bossiness and mad google sheets for our current property search. Love you guys :&#8217;)<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/media.giphy.com\/media\/3oEjHP5Nvv5N6RZFoA\/giphy.gif\" \/>In the GIF above, you will find footage of me being attacked by tube doors. I am actually Carrie Bradshaw.<\/p>\n<p>Sending all my love <em>(and all the luck in the world for those of you who have exams)<\/em>,<br \/>\nAlex (:<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As the academic year comes to an end, I thought I&#8217;d reflect on my first year at university. Here&#8217;s the thing- we all have a tendency to sugarcoat. We share all the good, but seldom the &#8216;bad&#8217; times. Sure, there&#8217;s the occasional (or frequent) posts about workload and stress; but how many of us actually [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1157,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[420,385,148187,200866,81449,12154,1,92291,123757],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3733","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-college","category-imperial","category-life-at-imperial","category-medical-school","category-mental-health","category-stress","category-uncategorized","category-uni-life","category-year-1"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Confessions of a Medical Student: Dropping Out and Other Thoughts - Student blogs - Imperial College London<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/blogs.imperial.ac.uk\/student-blogs\/2018\/05\/31\/confessions-of-a-medical-student-dropping-out-and-other-thoughts\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Confessions of a Medical Student: Dropping Out and Other Thoughts - Student blogs - Imperial College London\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"As the academic year comes to an end, I thought I&#8217;d reflect on my first year at university. 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