Leave Me Alone | The Exam Life #3

3 exams down, 6 to go.

You know how they said studying with a friend makes you less stress, yeah well, at this point its not anymore. I mean he made me laugh, he stalked someone (on my behalf-ish), he made fun of the way I’m typing up this very blog, he warned me when there was a secret sales, went to get coffee with me, He made me have fewer mental breakdowns. But being seriously tense and unease, having five mini mental breakdowns a day, all I want is to be left alone.

27 May 2019

You know what I did on Bank Holiday. The one day that’s supposed to be a holiday. Well, I was in the Skempton Building, along with half the department — rough estimate. I know it probably seem like I’m complaining about the hard work, but maybe I am. When people say to me, “first year is easy”. I wanted to say maybe it is, because you went through it and came through the other side. But maybe it isn’t fair for someone who’s going through that to be told what a worse future they’re going to have.

Anyway. At this time, I seriously wish I have a photograhic memory. The exam on Tuesday was mainly memorising, and well after the first 3 exams, my brain is at 5% capacity.

28 May 2019

The day has come, it was a 3 hours exam, and I left halfway through. I made a judgement call, I knew I was better spending my time revising for my next exam rather than staring on an answer sheet, I answered to the best of my ability. I’m going to admit, having Fluid mechanics the day after was not easy I attempted to do the 2018 paper, and I tried to do it, and nope not right. Being so close to the exam, not being able to do the question felt like an absolute failure.

Did the next question, and I can barely answer it, I finally brokedown. Thoughts rushed into my mind, I couldn’t do this, I can barely do this question, what am I going to do tomorrow. I went outside of the room, and called my sister. I was so upset and one of the undergrad office came to me, and I couldn’t be more grateful to have the support system that’s available.

I went back inside, with a clearer head. Finished my revision, and ready or not, I’m going to have to be.

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